Life's Rippling Effects.

Life after school shouldn't be as hard as most senior high school leavers say, eat and sleep (adidas), whilst you await your results and apply to the university. I mean how hard can it be? Eat, sleep, watch movies, visit friends, hang out at the mall, even mum can't hold you back.

 Life just began; you are in your prime, relationships, sex, fashion. The world is at your feet.

         Frankly I get appalled when people say "because you didn't go to boarding house, you didn't go to school, because all the fun about high school is in the boarding house". I mean I ate the boarders food during lunch break with my best friend, stayed back to prep during exams week and even slept over in the boarding house quietly crawled up like a snail behind my best friend, so as not to get caught by the house mistress who strangely paraded the corridors in our dorms, like a witch flying over our privacy! Is it by force to sleep?

         I mean that should pass for a freaky boarding experience, freely gotten and not paid for, how exciting can senior high school be? Smart I must say! But come to think of it, there is more to life than what meets the eye. 'Charley', freaky Fridays can get real freaky and they did get freakier during entertainment night on Fridays. Ironing my pleats and shortening my dress above the knee, a charismatic boarding attire turned slutty, all in the name of catching the eye of my crush, I called him 'charming eyes'.('I die finish')

To hell with the tales and advises on sex education, experience is the best teacher, love is blind, I love it that way, I will rather be consumed in this emotion than cram my head up in the books, cramming all those equations and formula's in my head.

"What no come before?"

          Found stuck up in the maternity ward for 11 long unending hours, with a pregnancy turned ectopic, the only sounds I hear are doctors shouting out for blood to be delivered to me, lying numb on the bed, in that trance it all comes flashing back...What if?

What if I had stayed in the boarding house and mimed with friends and didn't sneak out to meet 'charming eyes'?

What if I had crammed my head in my books and ignored the hisses and sweet words of that excited guy in his prime?

What if I bravely bolted to my room, instead of hiding shyly in the dark with him?

What if I had ignored the rebellious voice in my head to make the first move and invite him in?

What if I didn’t show up that night on the third floor for my very first kiss and class room sex?

What if I used my head and not my heart to love?

            Foolish as I have being, 'what if's' are null and void, ' what can come has come', a victim to my choices, am afraid my life is at the verge of death.

With charming eyes no where to be found, denying his involvement with me and casting me out like a piece of rug. The innocence of another naive soul is yet to be snatched.

Who do I turn to? A broken home, an unperturbed father, life as the only child can be consuming. Consumed with anger my actions are unpardonable, come what may, the consequences are leveled on my shoulders and no one else.

            Common sense is not as common as they say; life's decisions made within moments can shapen your future and chart a whole new course.

If and when I make it out of this operating room, life will meet a whole new me. I should be eating and sleeping by now (‘adidas’), awaiting my results, but here I am, a soon to be 'single mum'.

            I charted this course and I will have to pay the price for it... My Choices, My Decisions, My Responsibilities, Lesson Learnt! . 

Written by:  Daphne Addison